Monday, February 28, 2011

Dear Lady Gaga,

You know I love you. I do. But please NEVER let me see you do that again. I don't care if you were born that way, it was terrible.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

my water bottle has suddenly started tasting all weird and plasticy. no bueno.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


As many of you know, I used to have ads posted on my blog. The purpose of this being that I would eventually make a little bit of money from them. Yep. I sold out, and I'm still ok with it. The thing is, in the entire time I've had my blog, which is kind of a while, I've only made $23 off of it. That sounds great, but you can't actually get paid until it reaches $100. So lately my blog views have been increasing, and my Google Adsense has also been increasing. Great. EXCEPT that Google decided my account had "Invalid Account Click Activity" and disabled it. Yes, I filled out an appeal thing, and I think my answers were pretty funny, if I do say so myself...but still, they refuse to reopen my Adsense account. This means that A.) I would like to double fist punch whoever made this desicion and B.) Congratulations, ya'll are all getting this crap for free(er) now.

Friday, February 18, 2011


So as it turns out, eggs DO explode in the microwave. And it's really, really funny...but kind of weird because the microwave turned off as soon as it exploded. It was like a hilarious sunny-side-up-scrambled disaster. Oh, and also, grapes just kind of fizzle out and get weird. Special thanks to Mike the gymnast for making that happen.
So as long as the weather is warm, I don't really need to post songs about wanting it to be warm. This doesn't mean I'm done with this project, it just means I am putting it on hold until it gets cold again...which will hopefully be in very, very long time.

In other news, I saw Darwin Deez last night and it may have been one of the best/most fun shows I've ever been to. The band was great, everyone was happy, and they had all practiced their choreographed dance well as their free styling.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


And this song is dedicated to how I feel about warm weather.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I'm pretty positive apple juice tastes better out of a sippy cup.


Monday, February 14, 2011

Sometimes at work I do fun things like spend 10 minutes unjamming the hole punch...turns out 13 pages is too many for one go.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Dear foreign lady who just scolded me for talking on the phone on the bus,

First of all, I was not talking that loud. Second of all, I am not the only person on the phone on this bus. Third of all, you were not good at following the ticket lady's directions, and finally, you have the ugliest hair I have ever seen. Suck. On. That.



People are always writing songs about girls with blue eyes, and Van Morrison forever immortalized girls with brown eyes. Even John Darnielle mentions gray eyes in one of his newest tracks. Where are the songs for girls with green eyes? If you find one, let me know, because let’s be honest here…I’m a little bit jealous.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Today I took the bus from Knoxville, TN, to Washington, DC. It’s about 9 hours, and the bus wasn’t sketchy, either. It was, however, cold. Luckily for me, I had just stolen my sisters electric blanket and the bus had outlets. Hallelujah.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

shameless self promotion

dear friends and frenemies,

i started a new blog. i know, i know, really? really. before you get all panicked and pull out your inhaler, no, i will not be publishing any less on this one. discrete will remain a resting place for weird stuff i think up and funny crap that happens to me. my new blog, however, will be dedicated to art. no, not art garfunkel, but my encounters with art, especially considering i am constantly surrounded by so much of it. so, here it is: