Monday, December 13, 2010

Taste the Soap

Skittles might be the grossest candy ever invented.I imagine they taste like the floor of an arcade.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

This Guy is totally on to me.

Mabes it's because when we walked by him in the library, CFP realized she knew him and later told him my theory. So far all reports confirm that he really is a time traveler.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Someone just leaned over and said, "You're a little Joan Jett" to me. This is especially good news because I've kind of been feeling like a 4th grader today. Plus I just love her.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The two worst things ever to happen to this Earth, ever, are (in this order):

1.) The Italian Renaissance

-If you think you like Renaissance art, chances are you have only looked at a section or two of the Sistine Chapel and the David. Trust me, it only goes down hill from these ill-proportioned works. (Ok, I guess Leonardo Da Vinci understood proportion, but his people were fugly. Sorry Mona, but let's face it. Da Vinci was really more of a scientist than artist).

2.) Low-Rise Jeans

-If you think you like Low-Rise Jeans, you should see yourself in a pair of them. If you still like them, you should just go ahead and bedazzle your name (which is probably Candy) across the back pockets. And then you should call 1994 Winona Ryder and giver her belly shirt back.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I Wish I Had Thought Of This First.

Dying Chieftain:

This morning in Greek we looked at this sculpture, the Dying Gaul. At first glance, it seems to be your typical Roman copy of a Greek Hellenistic Bronze that was probably melted down for money or armor at some point. So what's so weird about Romans wanting to reproduce a naked man in distress? Nothing. Ancient Greeks and Romans are totally in to that. But wait-I invite you to take a closer look at this sculpture. Notice anything strange?

Maybe you are thinking, "You said this was a chieftain. How do you know? He's naked!" Excellent question. Gallic warriors wore beards; their chiefs shaved...But now that you are thinking about facial hair, you may want to look again. That's right. This man has a mustache even Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds would envy.
But that's not all (oh no, it certainly isn't). That thing around his neck? I admit, it is difficult to really tell on the marble copy, so please allow me to explain. In originality, his necklace or Torc, if you will, would have been gold leafed. The bronze original likely had a real gold Torc. Fascinating, I know.So why am I still talking about his man jewelry? Because it is a gold chain. That's right. This ancient warrior has both stache' and chain (no wonder Greeks loved young boys. Too far?). To get a better look, see below.
So far he is two for two. Now, completing the par, enters the star of the show; this man has a feathered mullet that even I couldn't pull off (and for those of you who don't know me, let me tell you, I know a thing or two about mullets).

So not to jump to conclusions or anything, but I'm pretty this man time traveled to the late 70s/early 80s, picked up a style guide, and then headed back to antiquity to rock Anatolia.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Rachel Ray is lookin rough today. I'm one to talk.