Monday, January 31, 2011


my stomach is feeling awkwardly painful tonight. this leads me to believe that one (or all) of the following is true:

scenario 1: i have eaten far too many of CF's delicious fiber one bars that taste like a snickers made of oats, and now my body is starting to fight back.

scenario 2: i have consumed far more apple juice in the past month than anyone ever thought was humanly possible, and now the laws of science/biology are going crazy and there is an apple tree growing inside my stomach.

scenario 3: DC's absurd lead-pipe-contaminated-water is finally taking its tole on me and i am developing some kind of strange tumor right behind my belly button.

essentially what i'm saying is that tomorrow i'm giving up fiber one bars, apple juice, and any kind of unfiltered water i might come in contact with.

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