Penelope.

I used to be a receptionist in my dad’s optometry office. Two or three days a week, I would file paper work, make appointments, etc. Right next door was this yummy pizza place, and naturally, I became friends with many of the employees there. This conveniently saved me lots of money on coke and breadsticks, but that is beside the point.

One day, two of the employees there decided I look like a Penelope, and thus, changed my name. From that moment on, I was known as Penelope in this pizza place. I assumed all of the employees knew this was just an alias; I mean, honestly, is Penelope even a real name? Well, shock arrived late one afternoon as I walked in to get my usual (half order of breadsticks and diet coke-mellow yellow suicide). As I approached the counter, I was bombarded with questions.
“Your name’s not Penelope?”-“I thought your name was Penelope!”-“I feel like I don’t even know you!”-“I can’t believe you let me call you Penelope this whole time!”

Let’s just say it was a sad day for many people as their hopes and dreams of my being named Penelope were crushed. Well, Ok, that’s a lie. It was a sad day for couple people who were gullible enough to believe my name was Penelope, which no one should believe, because let's be honest here, have you ever met any one named Penelope? No. you have not.

*Several years later, the wonderful employees of said pizza place still call me Penelope… they also still give me an employee discount.