150 POST!!!

I would like to dedicate this moment to the Major Motion Picture known as Mansquito. Epic, really. Epic.

Seriously?

Dear John Trumbull,
Why do you always miss the exciting stuff? I mean really, painting the still part of Niagara Falls...and from the British side? Really? Maybe you should have stayed in America.
Sincerely, the Art World.

YES

This is Amazing.

FIVE:

:the number of people asleep in the 4th floor HBLL bathroom.

Fact:

one time, i read an article in national geographicabout these two guys who hiked to the south pole, and everymorning when they woke up, they would cover their facesin a layer of their own mucus to prevent frost bite. one ofthem got it anyway, but he ended up being ok.

that's what it feels like in provo right now,and in most of my house.

Yep....

i spent the past week in arizona with my family. we stayed with my uncle who i can maybe remember meeting six times in my whole life, and three of those were this past year. anyway. here is the dating advice he passed on to me, and now, i am passing it on to all of you.

it's just as easy to marry a rich guy as it is to marry a poor asshole.

the man's a genius.

bummer

i just found out that i missed totally michael in salt lake a few days ago.

Science Fiction Double Feature

remember how i'm obsessed with carbon nano-tubes?
if you don't, please click
here
or
here


you get it. i think they are one of the most fascinating inventions of all time.

and i held hundreds of thousands of them with my own hands just a few days ago.

Some old stuff

in may, some friends and i had a little photo shoot adventure. i just stumbled upon some of those pictures, and thought i'd put a few of them up....yes, i'm dead in a couple of them. no big d.

Adventures

Sorry I haven't been blogging much lately, but I'd rather go on adventures...these were taken in Mona, Eureka, Santaquin, and everywhere in between.

new fav

yep.

today in one of my art history classes, a kid asked what
the difference between narrative and iconic was.

i judged him.

Favorites....

I just found out that Buckminster Fuller taught at Black Mountain College. I am so happy right now.

Seriously?

Someone just "Shhhd" me in the LRC.
Doesn't he know the LRC is practically a "No Shh" zone?

Botchulism?

I just saw an ad on my bloggins for Botox. Perfect.


Also, I am currently writing a short paper for my German class, and I'm wishing I could just do it in Russian instead...

Also....

Untitled Film Still #58
Cindy Sherman.
this is the reason
i cut and dyed my
hair again.

My New Best Friends

Venus Rising From the Sea-A
Deception.Raphaelle Peale.

Nighthawks. Edward Hopper.

Yea Boi!

He wuz a sk8r boi.

no but seriously.... many of you may be aware that my lovely roommate and i think it is the funniest thing in the world to whistle at innocent passers by whilst we sit on the porch. yes; we love sexual harassment. most reactions end with the assaultee crossing the street and looking away, however the best response ever witnessed just occurred between us and some boy on a skateboard.... it went something like this:

us: *whistle*
him: you know it!
us:*laughing*
him: bye girls!
us: goodnight!

thanks, sk8r boi.

Sad News...

I'm pretty sure that the most
recent box of hair dye I used
keeps my hair in a constant
state of feeling/looking dirty.

...At least I have a sweet wig
to cover it up when I'm not on campus...

Yikes.

Rather than telling this story again, I'm just going to have you click HERE
to read it.

True Story

The other day I was sitting in my living room with the front door open. As I glanced out the door and into the wonderful world of outside, my dear roommate and I saw the coolest thing ever...
Some guy was riding down the street on a skateboard.
What's so cool about that?
He was riding down the street doing a handstand on his skateboard.

Sell Out

I did it.... I put ads on my blog.

Are You Kidding Me?

Grand Theft Auto has a new game out.

You may be asking yourself what it's called this time...

The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Sam Beckett

it's love.

uhhh yah

i wanna go to hogwarts.

huh...

All I'm saying is that since I re-did my hair yesterday, I can see the resemblance to Coyote Shivers...

Pilot

One time last night my dear friend Jackson and I were in Pilot buying diet coke (big surprise) and adding to the collection of styrofoam 44 oz cups in the back of the jeep. Anyway. With liquid gold in hand, we naturally strolled over to the sun glass rack and started trying on these horrible blue sunglasses that Vin Diesel probably wore in Fast and Furious or something. So while we're trying them on, the store intercom comes on and the guy is saying something like, "Alright folks ya'll know what goes great with 44 oz diet coke? BLUE SUNGLASSES!". He didn't give us a discount or anything, but that is now my favorite gas station.

Brad Pitt is a Genius.

Steve Guttenberg

"Steven Guttenberg is ALWAYS at his finest."

"Steve Guttenberg is the most underrated actor of our day."

All That I'm Asking, Is Give Steve A Chance.

Even Better...

Question: What could be better than my last post?

Answer: My mom explaining my last post to my dad.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

New Fav.

Sometimes...

I Forget How Tall I Am...

And Then I Look Down.

How is This Even Possible???

"prototype nano robot that can fit in our blood vessels...."
"you can fit it right in the capillaries of the human body...."
"in the future, swarms of invisible nano robots might be patrolling our blood systems...."
WHAT IN THE WHAT THE???

i should lay off the science channel for a while....or maybe i shouldn't.

This JUST blew my mind...

NASA is offering 1/2 million dollar prize for the first group who can build a simple prototype of a space elevator.

The space elevator allows you to leapfrog past the gravity barrier, and uses no rocket fuel.

We can use this to beam solar energy back to earth.

All of this can be made possible by Carbon Nano Tubes.

THIS is Sciene Non Fiction for real.

FANKLES:

Def: (n) Fat Kankles.

Laser Beams.

Apparently one of my dad's roommates went crazy and thought he was a laser beam.




ps i think laser should be spelled lazer.

Dear Judges:

STOP PICKING ON EVAN.


you are all a bunch of douche bags.

especially you, Lil C.

Tinkerbell.

As any of you who really stalk me know, my sister, her husband, and their two adorable daughters are visiting in Tennessee right now. My nieces, who are 3 years old and 11 months old (roughly) truely are the cutest things ever. Anyways, here is the point:

The other day, my dear brother-in-law, who we will call Jarebear for all practical purposes, was doing laundry. So Jarebear and my niece, who we will call The Princess, were taking clothes out of the dryer and putting them in a pile in the other room. Well, Jarebear hands The Princess a pair of Tinkerbell underwear to put in the pile. Naturally, he saw the cartoon fairy and assumed they were his daughter's. As she came into the room, I noticed the underwear, or "pants" as they say in the Queen's land, were probably too big to fit a 3 year old. What did this mean? Yep. They were mine. As she hands them to me, Jarebear tells her to put them with her other clothes. I then had to explain to him that the nicely folded Tinkbell underpants were not, in fact, his toddler's. It's true, boys and girls, My 3 year old niece and I have the same Tink underoos.

Let's hear it for awkward house guests.

Lady Gaga

Changed My Life.

Just A Thought For Evolution...

What if our bladders were twice as big as they are now?

Top Whatever.

after taking modern and contemporary art history these past months, i think these are my favorite artists of the 20th century and beyond (although these aren't necessarily my favorite pieces of theirs). these are also not in order. enjoy.

MARK ROTHKO

BARNETT NEWMAN

MORRIS LOUIS

CHUCK CLOSE

CINDY SHERMAN

KASIMIR MALEVICH

JACKSON POLLOCK

WASSILY KANDINSKY

Isamu Noguchi

i think this is beautiful.

Life is Hot in Crack Town

I Really Like My Job.


mostly because we find little treasures like this.

BEAUTIFUL.

This may be THE BEST thing anyone has ever said about my blog.

I JUST PEEEEEEEED

on your blog

because of your blog

and im want to eat

even though i already did

Thanks Bobby.

Fight the Future.

Currently, I am watching the original X Files movie, Fight the Future. I would just like to remind everyone of what an excellent movie this really is. Bombs, aliens, and conspiracies all within the first 30 minutes. Outstanding.

I would now like to draw everyone's attention to that monstrosity of a movie released approximately one year ago, titled Gay Russians. Oh, wait no that wasn't it... Scully's Battle with Botox. Oh, nope, that's not it either. Why don't we just call it I'm David Ducovny, and I have a Beard.

And Also...

american
apparel,
what were
you
thinking?

Fascinating.

Apparently this guy could be searching for me on Facebook.


Lucky Me.

Really?

Worst idea Urban Outfitters has ever had.

That's Right...

Best Blog Post Ever.

Reading List:

Perhaps you will find this as entertaining as I do...

These are the first two posts listed on my "blogs i'm following" page update:

1. Murderers are among us (warning, rather dark).

2. Angels among us.

These are from two different people, and this is not a joke.

Chanel.

 

  

I Really Like Chanel's 2009 Spring Couture.

Fantastic.

Seriously, cinnamon chocolate chips are AMAZING. 

Also, I absolutely adore my HBLL buddies...karaoke was a good choice.

10...

the following are just things that make me laugh way too much.

1. saying nip it in the butt, rather than bud.
2. the swine flu kid in the lrc. (i can not look at him and maintain composure)
3. the fact that when there is a window open on our library system, it calls it a "wizard". (ok, i admit, i'm actually laughing out loud at that right now just thinking about it...wizard?!)
4. conan o'brian's hair.
5. potter puppet pals.
6. anything having anything to do with harry potter, really. (wizards! again!)
7. maybe that's just british people...
8. megaphone.
9. speaking like i'm eastern european.
10. most conversations with bobby.

:(

first of all, i don't love emoticons, and i'm sorry i just used one...

but really, i'm just mad that facebook won't let me change my middle name to freaking.

help:

am i selling out if i put
ads on my blog? i mean,i
don't think there could
be an easier way to earn
the dollars, but i just
don't know if it's

worth it.

DROP BOX

could someone maybe explain to me why it is so difficult to put a yellow piece of laminated paper in the drop box?

Why I Love HBLL:

The Harold B. Lee Library...The Place of Dreams...My Place of Employment.

Here are two brief stories about why I am so obsessed with this place.

1. Swine Flu Kid.

There is this kid who comes in EVERY DAY to use our phone. In fact, he is
on the phone right now. I am listening to him talk to his mother, who works
upstairs. This child is 9 years old and just yesterday decided that he wanted to
be a zombie for Halloween this year. Anyway, I'm sure you are thinking, as I
am, "What is this 9 year old child doing roaming the library? Shouldn't he be
in school?" The answer is Yes. He probably should. Myself and several of my
dear co-workers have decided there could only be one reason this child is not
required to go to school: He has contracted some kind of epic illness...He has
contracted Swine Flu. This would maybe not be so bad, but for some reason,
he feels compelled to touch EVERYTHING in the LRC.
If I get Swine Flu, I am coming after him.

(Also, I just passed by him in a cubicle. He was both talking and laughing to himself...and now he's back.)


2. Party?

I love to party. I think we all know this. Fortunately, my
work place is conducive to the progression of this love. In
honor of Spring time, we are having a karaoke party/bonfire. Naturally,I helped plan this joyous event. Also, there was
a pizza luncheon this morning for many of my supervisors.
Because they also love to party, they brought us some left
over pizza...
keep in mind this is in addition to the donuts
and cookies we had this morning.

Labels, or rather, what makes them.

several weeks ago, my dear friend (who needs to update his blog more often, by the way) gave me the most amazing gift i could ever imagine. if you know me at all, or work in the library, you have probably already guessed it, but for those of you who are mildly out of the loop, here it is: a label maker. that is right. a little grey plastic piece of genius that is shaped just like the starship enterprise. while i wish i could say i have pictures to prove it all, i do not. i do, however, have a brief list of things which i have labeled (or rather, what i have labeled things as):

-the ishphone

-western bandit

-kiko lopez

-r2d2

-c3p0

-lazer gun

-starship enterprise

-...bitch.

-delicious

-shredder

-master splinter

-wanda

-perv.

-cecil loves lindy

-modern art

-comrade

-beaugregard packenham

-the chamber of secrets 

most of these currently reside in the library, however i regret to inform you all that the chamber of secrets was removed from it's original origin (which was, in fact, on the floor map in the jkb...apparently byu didn't want the secret getting out).

unfortunately, the label maker is currently out of service...this is probably due to overuse.

wearekoalas

but seriously, this has to 

be the best thing ever. 

wearekoalas

and this is my favorite 

selling point:

"Polyesters are neat. You know what else 

is neat? The word “neat.” I don’t think we 

say it enough: “neat.” In fact, maybe we 

should start trying to bring it back, huh? Although I’m not sure that “neat” was ever “in,” I think it’s worth a try. “Neat.” “Yo, what up, that hoodie is way neat.” “Sup, G, you think my hoodie is neat?” “Say, dog, dat red top is ill-sickin neat.”See, it doesn’t always have to make sense, and that’s what is neat."

ps i take it back. keep modeling. both of you...but only because your leather jackets are so dang neat. 

P.S.

Dear Matt, Stop Modeling.

Matt

Matt Stands 6 feet 2 inches tall, 160 pounds.

I Don't Think I Need To Explain...

Dear Patrick Swayze,

You Have

A Really

Little

Waist.

Um...Seriously?

Any cookbook that tells you to use store-bought hummus, or any other pre-packaged item, for that matter, is ridiculous. That is all.

The Trek Aquatic

While I had planned on discussing the wonderful new sci-no-fi hit Star Trek, that is just going to have to wait until tomorrow. Having not quite fulfilled my Star Trek cravings for the night, I was pleased to find some old episodes on Spike TV. I was not pleased, however, to discover that they are in fact underwater. Unfortunately, I just watched a submarinespacecraft collide with an electric eel the size of Rhode Island.

NEWSFLASH:

Not A Single One Of The Osmonds Is Attractive.